"Dry Drunk"

I've heard the term "dry drunk" mentioned at AA meetings before, but I didn't know exactly what it was. So here's what I've found out:


Definition:

• dry drunk: A condition of returning to one's old alcoholic thinking and behavior without actually having taken a drink. This often precedes a relapse into drinking, even if the alcoholic has been sober for years.

Symptoms:

• acting self-important, either by "having all the answers," or playing "poor me."
• making harsh judgments of oneself and others.
• being impatient or pursuing whims.
• blaming others for one's own shortcomings.
• being dishonest, usually beginning with little things.
• impulsive behavior which ignores what's best for oneself and others.
• inability to make decisions.
• mood swings, trouble with expressing emotions, feeling unsatisfied.
• detachment, self-absorption, boredom, distraction or disorganization.
• nostalgia for the drinking life.
• fantasizing, daydreaming and wishful thinking or euphoria.
• less participation in a 12-step program or dropping out altogether.

Having just a few of these symptoms is enough to suggest the possibility of being in a dry drunk state.


Solution:

• Go to AA meetings
• Get a sponsor
• Work the 12 Steps with your sponsor

If a friend or family member has become a dry drunk, AlAnon (a support group for friends and family of alcoholics) is the best place for you to get support. To preserve your own sanity, you need to lovingly detach from your alcoholic loved one, work your own spiritual program, and let them find their own way back to real spiritual sobriety. It's very tough and painful to do. That's why AlAnon exists -- it's a huge group of people all having to do that very same thing.

For online support, I suggest the Sober Recovery Forums. [Click Here] In order to ask questions or make comments there, you will need to register -- but it's free and only takes a few minutes.

Alcoholic PMS

It's been a strangely emotional past week -- seemingly for no reason at all. I've been irratible and restless even though I've had every reason to be happy. They say that Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) can make you very irratible, and you don't have to be a newcomer to experience it either.

After reading more about it [here], I've started calling it "Alcoholic PMS".

Often those 30, 60, 90, 120, 180, and 1 & 2-year sobriety dates seem to be "triggering" times for PAW symptoms to increase.

I think that alot of people relapse because they don't know how to handle these feelings. I haven't learned how to successfully handle them -- but I know how NOT to handle them. Picking up a drink will make everything worse.

Aside from the mental storm going on in my head, it's been a good week :)


Today, I'm grateful for ...

• being 108 days sober
• the very sweet people who read my blog
• my loving family
• my sweet boyfriend
• my adorable puppy
• my reliable little car, which I received the title for yesterday!
• patient people
• God, because He knows where I'm headed
  

The Possible

It's so awesome to have the chance to start over again. I'm no longer a slave to a controlled substance. I can make choices today that I could not make before.

I can choose whether to drink or not. That's still flabbergasting to me. In the past, I felt no more control over drinking than I felt over breathing. I couldn't just "not breathe". I couldn't just "not drink". I had to drink in order to function. I'm so grateful that I no longer need to do that!

I desperately wanted this freedom a year ago, but I never believed it was possible. I sank into inconsolable distress. If someone told me that this freedom was possible and that I would soon experience it -- I would have not believed.

But it IS possible, and it CAN happen. If you're suffering, you don't have to anymore. When you're ready, check out some resources -- or if you're confused, post a comment:

• Alcoholics Anonymous
• The Big Book Online
• Is AA for You?
• Find an AA Meeting
• For Friends & Family
• Blogs of Other Recovering Alcoholics
• Sober Recovery Forums

Today, I am grateful for:

• Being 50 days sober! Woohoo!
• God's patience. I'm so glad He let this miracle wait for me.
• My supportive and loving family -- little puppy "brother" included :)
• My supportive and loving AA family, online and offline
• The program of AA
• A new great friend :)
• The wonderful people who read my blog
• The saints who send supportive comments and emails
• The power of this day
  

Study: Women More Easily Addicted

A recent study has found that that the addiction gender-gap is closing: more females are suffering from various types of addiction, and it takes less time and exposure for females to become addicted than males.

Other interesting info:

• Most recovery programs were developed for males.
• Only 38% of addiction treatment centers offer services that address the specific needs of females.
  
• Only 8% of females who need help actually get it.
• Physicians are less likely to consider and diagnose addiction in females, and are 48% more likely to prescribe narcotics or other mood-altering medications to females, even though females are twice as likely as males to develop secondary addictions to those types of medications.

It's a scary, scary world out there.

See the original article here.

I find it interesting that this study has verified what the Big Book states:

To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years (33).

For other female alcoholics, I highly recommend "A Woman's Way Through The Twelve Steps" by Stephanie S. Covington. It addresses issues specific to females that the Big Book neglects to mention. It's been a great help for me, and I hope it can help you too.

Is there an alcoholic in your life?

Alcoholism is a devastating disease. It doesn't just affect the alcoholic: It affects everyone around the alcoholic.

If you have an alcoholic family member or friend, chances are, you have been occasionally hurt or confused by their actions. The abuse is very real, it's painful, it leaves scars, and it boggles the mind. Some people blame the alcoholic. Some blame alcohol itself. Others blame themselves.

Regardless of blame, the most important thing for you to realize is that you didn't cause their alcoholism, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. You are not at fault in ANY way.

Also remember: You are not alone.

There is a wealth of support groups and information available to help you. Here are a few resources that can help you to find understanding and healing:

Why Do I Need Help? He's the Alcoholic!

Information for Friends and Families -- More Articles

Sober Recovery Forums -- "Family and Friends" -- This is a VERY good forum. Fast-moving, lots of stories, lots of support, great advice given here. You can join and ask questions/offer support there yourself.

A huge long list of helpful links ...

Please check out these resources -- even if you don't feel like you need help -- because you most likely DO need help but don't realize it yet.

You might just find answers to your most mind-boggling questions, and most importantly, find hope and healing for your OWN life.

Post Acute Withdrawal

Are you sober, but feeling crazier now than you did when you were drinking? You're not alone.

You may be going through Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW). It is estimated that 75-95% of recovering alcoholics experience PAW in varying degrees of severity. Some hardly notice it, while others find it almost debilitating.

These are the primary symptoms:

1. Inability to think clearly
2. Memory problems
3. Emotional overreactions or numbness
4. Sleep disturbances
5. Physical coordination problems
6. Stress sensitivity

More descriptive symptoms:

Lack of confidence.
Denial (It wasn't really that bad or I can handle it now).
Lack of commitment to a support system.
Trying to change others before they are ready.
Defensiveness.
Compulsive behavior (becoming compulsive and out of balance in another area or your life).
Impulsive behavior (acting before you think things through or outbursts).
Daydreaming.
Depression.
Easily Angered.
Irregular sleep.
"I don't care," attitude.
Feeling hopeless.
Self pity.
Conscious lying.
Loneliness.
Controlled drinking (trying to limit or control use).
Loss of control (back to original state of consumption).

The following websites have some excellent information about PAW:

For a quick explanation, click here.

For a thorough explanation, click here.

Sometimes, it just helps to know that you're not going completely insane ...

The Promises of Alcohol Addiction

In order for this joke to make sense, you would need to be familiar with the Promises of working the Twelve Steps from the Big Book. The "Promises" presented here are the opposite -- for people who continue to drink. (This is intended as a joke. But how true it is!)


The Promises of Alcohol Addiction

If we are casual with this phase of our development, we will be drunk before we are halfway through.

We are going to know a new imprisonment and a new misery.

We will relive the past and won't be able to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word CONFLICT and we will know PAIN.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we'll sink even lower.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will deepen.

We will gain interest in selfish things and lose interest in our fellows.

Self esteem will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will SUCK.

Fear of people, and of economic insecurity will multiply.

We will intuitively know how to run from situations which never used to bother us.

We will suddenly realize that God would never have done to us what we are doing to ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not! They are being fulfilled among those of us who are still drinking -- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

They will ALWAYS materialize, IF WE DRINK FOR THEM.

Guaranteed.

From http://www.recoverylane.com

Information of Interest

Here's a list of links for people looking for more info:

Resources

Alcoholics Anonymous
The Big Book Online
Is AA for You?
Find an AA Meeting
For Friends & Family
Sober Recovery Forums

Must-Reads

Acceptance
Footprints
I Am There
The Promises of Sobriety (9th Step Promises)

The Promises of Addiction

Starting Point

Alcohol destroys everything. It doesn't just destroy the life of the alcoholic -- but the lives of all around. The more you drink, the more people and things you destroy.

From my personal experience:

You don't want to hurt anyone you love, and you don't want to lose anything important to you. But you don't know how to get through the day without drinking. The very idea is similar to getting through the day without breathing. You can't just "not breathe". You can't just "not drink" either.

So you drink. That hurts people you love -- you end up saying or doing stupid things that hurt their feelings. You feel awful about that. You hate your behavior, and you feel like a monster.

You try to stop drinking to prevent further devastation. You know it's bad for you and bad for those around you. But you still don't know how to get through the day without drinking. You may be successful for a while, but you're obsessed with drinking. Thousands of thoughts whirl around in your head but the only stable thought is for another drink. The entire world is a blur and doesn't matter anymore -- the bottle is the one and only thing in focus.

At your wit's end, you reason, "Okay, I'll just have one drink. I won't get drunk this time." In no time after taking the first drink, you have finished twenty drinks and are staggering drunk and saying stupid things that hurt people again. You know you've failed again, and you know that you've become a worse monster than you were before. You are out of control.

The cycle repeats endlessly and gets progressively worse. This is how you change emotionally:

You become consumed with self hatred, cynicism, depression, passive-aggression, anxiety, and rage. You are a monster. Whatever friends you haven't scared off yet perceive you as a volatile emotional leach and burden. You know that you are a complete loser and a freak. Every time something goes wrong, it's proof that you're a blundering idiot. You are convinced that you're a terrible, horrible, worthless, stupid, miserable failure of a human being who should have never been born. In your mind, that is who you ARE -- it is the identity you have created for yourself through your alcoholism.

It makes no sense! But this is my personal starting point. It's not the "prettiest" nor "ugliest" of other people's stories I've heard. But it's my own -- everyone's story is different. Everyone has different issues. My issues often pale in comparison to everyone else's.

Some people lose their entire families, all their friends, their homes, their jobs -- everything -- and end up destitute. I was fortunate just to lose two people: a lying boyfriend who cheated (probably with a different random chick each day of the week), and a mutual friend who tried to be friends with us both. It was probably beneficial to everyone for those relationships to end, but I wish they didn't end as the result of an abusive drunken rage.

But in all "stories", it becomes obvious that simply stopping drinking won't fix everything. As destructive as it was, drinking was really only a symptom of other underlying issues. Continuing to drink prevents all hope for ever healing. But at least getting sober gives us a chance -- regardless of our starting point.

Promises of Working the 12 Steps

From the Big Book (p. 83-84):

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.


We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.


We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.


We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.


No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.


That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.


We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.


Self-seeking will slip away.


Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.


Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.


We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.


We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.


Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

[Find More "Promises of Recovery" Here]