wow, i'm such a newbie
I had the good fortune of attending three meetings today. The first two were speaker meetings. I got to hear two awesome speakers share their unique stories. I have no idea how people do that. I would be scared to death!
The third meeting tonight was open discussion. Just when I was starting to feel comfortable with the idea of sharing, the topics ventured outside my realm of experience. I was so grateful to be able to sit, listen, and learn.
I used to know someone (outside of AA) who responded to everybody's problems with a standard universally applicable response: "Well, at least you're not on fire." His reasoning was that if you didn't get set on fire today, then whatever shitty things that happened to you couldn't have been that bad in comparison.
It sounds like a rude and demented response, but its sadistic humor got me through some tough times in the past and still gets me through them today. However, sharing that with someone in an AA meeting wouldn't exactly help them! (You see, this is why I sit and listen through meetings ... I need to learn more so that I will eventually have something useful to share.)
So I am once again left in awe of the wisdom and generosity of the people in this program. The old-timers / long-timers knew exactly what to say. They always do. I'm so grateful that they keep coming back to these meetings and sharing their experience, strength, and hope. There are reasonable answers to every life issue, even though they are often not what we want to hear. Usually the answer we like the least is the best one for us.
Tonight was a learning experience. If only I could sit and listen to a thousand meetings, maybe I'd get a tiny bit smarter and more helpful. Or more likely, I just need to live sober and work the program for a few decades. (Of course that's the right answer -- it's the more difficult one!)
Today, I'm especially thankful for ...
- being 198 "DAMN days" sober!
- the awesome and patient folks in AA who keep coming back and the brave souls who share their experience, strength, and hope
- "butt trusted?!" (joke at my homegroup ... see tradition #2)
- fellow bloggers who keep posting
- my reliable car, which gets me to meetings
- my nice family and adorable dog
- God, because today I have witnessed Him using alcoholics to help each other
9 comments:
2 more dayz and youll be 200 dayz im so happy for you and your doing good just remember one day at a time!!! whoohooo
Three meeting, good job!
The 'old timers' / 'long timers' are passing on to you what was passed on to them as you will pass it on to a new newbie in turn.
Cool, eh?
:-)
Another - WOW!
What gale has offered you in her comment made me go - WOW! I haven't heard good stuff like that in many moons and I'd like to tell gale thanks :)
Plus - you were found through the "next Blog" link? Hmmmmm :)
There are no coincidences.
Aww thanks, Gale! That's so sweet of you to stop by and leave such a nice comment!
And a big thanks Christina, Trudging, RecoveryRoad, and Mark. You guys are all awesome :)
I like the at least your not on fire comment and pic ;)
It is a way of putting things into perspective. It could be more like ...
at least I am not drunk
at least I am sober
at least I am healthy
at least I have a program
and on and on and on and on.
Sort of the quick gratitude. I am really grateful I am not on fire ;)
What fun ~ weeeee
""""I just need to live sober and work the program for a few decades"""
It works, it really does.
That is great.. another is your ass falling off. I feel that way sometimes.
Congrats on your 198 days! I see that the Grapevine has a "count your days" converter. Cool beans. Keep up the good work.
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