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Sober since April 6, 2006 |
I first came across the Office Linebacker years ago. It was a superbowl commercial. Searching Google videos, I was unable to find the original commercial -- but I found a series of long ads! I think they're hilarious. Hope you like them:
[Terry Tate: The Office Linebacker]
[Sensitivity Training]
[Going on Vacation]
[Draft Day]
[Office Athlete of the Century]
[Streaker Control]
The pain train is comin, baby!Others may be art glass of rainbow hue;
I choose to be a windowpane
For the sun to shine through.
A clear pane,
A clear pane is what I would be
Unconcerned with temperament
And personality.
I would have Love shine through me
So that my friends would say
Not, "What a lovely pane of glass,"
But, "What a lovely day!"
"Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams."
... until you have seen the famous "Numa Numa Kid" video!
[Click here to see albinoblacksheep video]
Even wikipedia has an article about this video. [Read it here]
In the following Google video, two students at the University of Michigan dressed up as Pac-Man and a Ghost respectively, and ran through the UGL (the Undergraduate Library) and the Fishbowl (a huge computer lab on Central campus) during finals week. Pac-Man screams in horror as the Ghost chases him yelling "Waka Waka Waka."
I wish I had done something THAT crazy in college, hahaha!
[Click to see video] or click Play below:
As children bring thier broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.
But instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How can you be so slow?"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never let them go."
I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life. I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's".. more "I'm sorry's"... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back.
Stop sweating the small stuff. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who Do love us. Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with.
And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually. Life is too short to let it pass you by. We only have one shot at this and then it's gone.
"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it."
Alcoholism is a devastating disease. It doesn't just affect the alcoholic: It affects everyone around the alcoholic.
If you have an alcoholic family member or friend, chances are, you have been occasionally hurt or confused by their actions. The abuse is very real, it's painful, it leaves scars, and it boggles the mind. Some people blame the alcoholic. Some blame alcohol itself. Others blame themselves.
Regardless of blame, the most important thing for you to realize is that you didn't cause their alcoholism, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. You are not at fault in ANY way.
Also remember: You are not alone.
There is a wealth of support groups and information available to help you. Here are a few resources that can help you to find understanding and healing:
Why Do I Need Help? He's the Alcoholic!
Information for Friends and Families -- More Articles
Sober Recovery Forums -- "Family and Friends" -- This is a VERY good forum. Fast-moving, lots of stories, lots of support, great advice given here. You can join and ask questions/offer support there yourself.
A huge long list of helpful links ...
"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."
Are you sober, but feeling crazier now than you did when you were drinking? You're not alone.
You may be going through Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW). It is estimated that 75-95% of recovering alcoholics experience PAW in varying degrees of severity. Some hardly notice it, while others find it almost debilitating.
These are the primary symptoms:
1. Inability to think clearly
2. Memory problems
3. Emotional overreactions or numbness
4. Sleep disturbances
5. Physical coordination problems
6. Stress sensitivity
Lack of confidence.
Denial (It wasn't really that bad or I can handle it now).
Lack of commitment to a support system.
Trying to change others before they are ready.
Defensiveness.
Compulsive behavior (becoming compulsive and out of balance in another area or your life).
Impulsive behavior (acting before you think things through or outbursts).
Daydreaming.
Depression.
Easily Angered.
Irregular sleep.
"I don't care," attitude.
Feeling hopeless.
Self pity.
Conscious lying.
Loneliness.
Controlled drinking (trying to limit or control use).
Loss of control (back to original state of consumption).
For a quick explanation, click here.
For a thorough explanation, click here.
Your partner wants you to realize your dreams and will do anything to help achieve them.
They are self-sufficient and complete human beings. If not, then you must neglect part of yourself in some way to compensate for their deficiency.
They take responsibility for their own happiness. It is not your job.
They don't use negative tactics for getting their own way or dominating you. Criticism, put-downs, guilt, shame, intolerance, neglect, combativeness, aggression, and threat; the list goes on. Silence can be a negative tactic, if there is communication that needs to take place, and so can defensiveness.
When they speak to you, it is always with love, acceptance and approval.
They support and respect your ideas, beliefs and wishes no matter how different from their own.
Your self-esteem improves when you are together.
Your circle of friends grows.
They do little things to please you.
When something bothers you, they are truly concerned.
They help resolve problems.
They help you find time for yourself. Without this you will never grow.
They share in responsibilities, even with things that are unpleasant or mundane.
Your time is just as valuable as theirs.
They give you freedom to try new things, take chances and to make mistakes. Human beings are constantly evolving and are not meant to be caged physically, emotionally or psychologically.
In short, they provide the security, love and nurturing that is required for you to soar where life itself is wonderful and the relationships are an added bonus. Because you are willing to do the same for them, the relationship will continue to scale new heights while love, honor and respect grows deeper and broader.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is."
Hey -- he was a smart guy."You wouldn't worry so much about what people really thought of you if you knew just how seldom they actually do."
"They must think I'm such an awful, terrible monster ... they're probably right."
"They must talk about me and laugh at how stupid I am."
"They probably all think that I'm a hopeless loser who's going to end up in a gutter somewhere. They'd just LOVE to walk by so they could laugh and throw rocks at me."
"They've probably made a voodoo doll just for me so they can torture it until it falls apart. Then they'll torture the parts ..."
"Here is a test to find out whether your mission in life is complete. If you're alive, it isn't."
Have you ever wondered what would happen if Microsoft had designed the package for the iPod? Well, these people did -- and made a funny video to show it off!
[Click Here to See Google Video]
So did this guy. You'll either think it's very funny, or very sad.
When I look at it from the perspective of, "Hey, that used to be me," then I think it's funny -- especially with the music they added. On the other hand, I feel so sorry for that guy ...
Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house.
The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.
As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband.
He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment. Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts.
Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny. He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up? Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her.
Finally, she could stand it no longer. She causally mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.
A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?
"Look at it." He said. "Read what it says."
She read the words "United States of America."
"No, not that; read further."
"One cent?"
"No, keep reading."
"In God we Trust?"
"Yes!"
"And?"
"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!
Then I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, "In God We Trust," and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message. It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful!
And, God is patient...
From http://inspirationalstories.com/11/1144.html
Okay, so people have been complaining about having a bad Easter. Well, your Easter wasn't THIS bad ...
[Click here to see Google video] or click Play below:
I was attending a meeting the other night, and everyone was sharing their experience with Step 6: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." (Steps 4 and 5 exist to help you discover your character defects ... Step 6 is where you decide to ask God to remove them.)
I couldn't understand some of the people there. They had been sober and in AA for over a year -- but were "afraid" of and "dreading" Step 6. They had already completed Steps 4 & 5, and they had discovered their character defects, but they didn't want to give them up yet. I simply don't understand their rationale. I've found a few of my character defects, but I CAN'T WAIT to get rid of them. It's like having spiders crawling all over me -- I'm in an absolute panic to get them off.
But they say that someone with my length of sobriety is not ready to do Step 4 (or anything past it). That really aggrivates me. It's like telling a desperate person who is COVERED in spiders that they can't brush the spiders off because they weren't supposed to have noticed them yet for a few more months.
(Insert Anakin Skywalker temper tantrum from "Revenge of the Sith"... Well here's something similar, dubbed in 1337, hahaha! )
Woke up with that terrible feeling again -- one that sends me into a panic. Heart's beating out of my chest, feeling out of breath and sick to the stomach. Keep remembering why I'm no longer cared about, and the "good old times" keep running through my head.
I don't understand why I miss that time in my life.
The "good old times" weren't exactly "good". In fact, I was miserable -- and made everyone else miserable. I never did any single good thing for anyone.
Never was a "good" person (but I thought I was). Never made anyone happy (but I thought I did). Never was worth anything to anyone (but I thought I was). Never contributed anything (but I thought I did). Never was needed (but I thought I was).
So whatever good feelings I had about myself were lies and delusions.
And deep down during that time, I felt like a complete waste of a human being. Now I see that all my feelings of inadequacy were perfectly accurate. I was nothing more than a "tornado", destroying everyone and everything I touched (analogy from the Big Book). And, of course, it was all my fault.
No matter how much I beat myself up over it, I was still nothing more than a parasitic prat and a complete waste of time to everyone. It makes me feel physically sick and I want to scream ...
They say there's a difference between having a disease and being a disease. I'm tired of being a disease, and I'm beyond sorry to have inflicted so many others.
I just watched the lighthearted comedy "13 Going on 30" for the first time in a long time. It's a great movie -- and if you haven't seen it -- you should! It's cute and very entertaining, but it also contains a great moral for alcoholics -- if you cut out the last five minutes of it.
In the movie, 13-year-old "Jenna" rejects her best friend "Matt" to pursue a position in the popular crowd of kids. Wishing for popularity and beauty on her thirteenth birthday, she magically wakes up 30 years old, immersed in a new life that she has no memory of living.
Her entire life after her thirteenth birthday had been blacked out from her memory, and she soon discovers that the life she had lived up to that point was a very bad one. She had apparently treated people terribly and had done horrible things. She was shocked to find out what an awful person she had been during that time. (Seeing this reminded me of myself. I feel the same way right now.)
To make a long story short (without giving away the movie), she is faced with decisions for handling her mistakes. When she found out that she had wronged someone, she didn't deny it or beat herself up over it, but instead focused her efforts on making things right. Good people she had previously rejected, she now befriended. Bad people she had previously accepted, she now rejected.
As for rejecting Matt years ago -- she is given the opportunity to make things right with him. She realized how wrong she was to reject him, and she was desperate to do ANYTHING to reverse what she did. But even so, her past mistakes created agonizing conditions that simply could not reverse the wrongs she had done to him.
Of course in Hollywood, every story must have a happy fairy tale ending. But in real life, we cannot make wishes with magical pixie dust and wake up with "everything okay again". We cannot go back in time. For our lives, the story ends in the excruciating realization that "You screwed up and you can never make it better" -- and a new story begins from that point.
And for alcoholics especially, we find ourselves in similar situations. We find out that we said or did terrible things that we don't even remember. We find out that we hurt people. Sometimes we are aware that our actions hurt people, but we were so drunk at the time that we didn't realize the specific effects or extent of the damage. Sometimes we had a vague idea of the damage, but we were too drunk and ashamed to face the truth. So we immersed ourselves in MORE alcohol to escape feelings of guilt and futility (which only made things worse).
The Big Book describes the alcoholic as a "tornado" sweeping though the lives of all around. Imagine the sun rising upon a city that was destroyed overnight. During the night time, we can estimate damage -- and even deny it. But once the sun comes up and the destruction is brought into the light, there can be no more denial or escape. So it is with the alcoholic who still drinks -- they can only estimate the damage they have caused until sufficiently sober to view the true destruction "in the light".
In sobriety, we will sometimes agonize over the destruction we have caused others in our alcoholism. Without the numbing shield of alcohol, we are forced to finally acknowledge the exact details of the destruction we have caused. And it is often painful enough to send people back to the drink. Seeing no hope for repairing the damage, we want to escape far away. Back to the bottle some will go: some to cause more damage, others to disappear into death. But those who do not resort to drinking again have hope of making amends -- of trying to make things as right as possible, but it will never be perfect.
Things are as they are, and if we are honest, we recognize that we made them that way. We can blame it on the alcohol. But in the end, the responsibility lies with us -- we CHOSE to drink. We CHOSE to live that way. We made bad choices that hurt people we love.
There is no way to go back in time and do things differently. Instead, we are faced with more choices. The choices of today influence the choices we will make tomorrow. But the choices we made yesterday are completely out of our hands. We will still experience the consequences of those choices, but there is no sense in excessively mourning over them. Beating ourselves over the head for things we cannot change accomplishes absolutely nothing. Which is why the serenity prayer is so important:
God, Grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
1) accept responsibility for what happened;
2) pray for the person we hurt -- not that they would forgive us, but that they would heal from the pain we caused and experience true freedom and happiness in their lives;
3) learn from that mistake and never repeat it again;
4) decide to accept the situation as one of the things we "cannot change";
5) forgive ourselves.
Forgiving ourselves can be a terribly difficult thing to do. I have not forgiven myself of a single thing yet. I do not feel like I should be forgiven. But it is necessary for healing and continued spiritual growth. Resentments of any kind will bring recovery to a grinding halt.
"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way."
Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence....
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are a very rare jewel indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.
From "A Woman's Way through the Twelve Steps", by Stephanie S. Covington, Ph.D.:
Even our relationships themselves may have become addictive. We may have become so enmeshed in our relationships ... that we lost our own identity. We became intensely focused on "protecting our supply" or avoiding "withdrawal" from the attention, sex, status, companionship, or whatever else we received from the relationship.
This sense of desperation -- Why hasn't he called? Is she thinking about me? How can I be more pleasing, more likely to get what I want? -- does not allow for genuine relationships, for true intimacy and mutual caring.
As long as we stayed in a self-shaming state, disconnected from our true value and worthiness, we continued to seek relationships that gave us the same message that we gave ourselves: that we're hopeless, inept, and lacking in some elusive quality that everyone else seems to have. It was a vicious circle that ended with out journey through the Steps.
The source of our suffering and often of our addition was in our attachments, the relationships in which we hoped to find satisfaction and a sense of worth. But it is one of the paradoxes of recovery that while our relationships caused us pain and sufering, our relationships are also going to heal us.
RTFM:
Read the Big Book
of Alcoholics Anonymous
Online: CLICK HERE
