Sober since April 6, 2006


Saturday, July 29, 2006

Revelation of "Duh"

Went to a meeting this morning, and the topic was ... (drumroll please) ... unmanageability.

The first step of AA says:

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, and that our lives had become unmanageable."

So I sat there with my little notebook and made a list of things I'm powerless over. There's the obvious crap like alcohol, feelings, emotions, and people.

Then I had a profound revelation:
"I'm powerless over the past."

Well, it was profound to me anyway. It's obvious to everyone else in the world. I'm "special" in the sense that I grasp the obvious much later than everyone else. Hence I'm an alcoholic, and one of the dumbest ones at that.

But the concept of being powerless over the past ... it feels like something that's going to help me straighten out the mess in my head.

"Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly ..." And sometimes at a complete death crawl. But it's better than nothing.


lash505 said...

Awesome that right.. You doing great..

dAAve said...

It's not a matter of being dumb, or being smart.
It's simply that there are many things we've never thought about before. Don't beat yourself up for that.
That's why I keep going back to meetings; I hear stuff that's new to me all the time and I'm 52 friggin' years old.

Anonymous said...

With God ALL things are possible:-)

SCoUt said...

Check out past postings on my little bloggy. I talk about the "duh" frequently. This is what a NeWCoMEr DaZe is all about.
I, too, am slower than most who are also at my level of intelligence and dAAve is right--I have found that it has absolutely nothing to do with that! It's all a matter of when I am ready to really HEAR it and get it from my head to my heart.
Isn't recovery awesome?