Sober since April 6, 2006


Sunday, February 12, 2006

Sober for FIVE WHOLE WEEKS!!!!

Now I’ve been sober for five weeks. It may not sound like much of an accomplishment, but it’s more difficult than it seems. The urge to run away from problems is still there. The temptation to drink still comes and goes but is overshadowed with the knowledge that my own life isn’t about me. Escaping, drinking, hiding, hurting, and destructing are synonymous and reflect an almost unbreakable cycle of devastation that inflicts everyone near me with unwarranted grief.

The future is uncertain. I’m either feeling overwhelmed, frightened, and powerless about what I interpret as “change” -- or I’m feeling excited, hopeful, and energetic concerning the same issue interpreted as “opportunity”. It’s the same future -- but two different perceptions. I either see “impending doom” or “blossoming success”.

It’s interesting how changing our own outlook changes our perceived direction in life. Learning to stay positive is a difficult but necessary lesson. Excess cynicism prevents growth, but overconfidence triggers disappointment. Finding the “happy medium” is difficult.