Leaving Lies

To live
And not to breathe
Is to die in tragedy

To run
To run away
To find what you believe

And I leave behind
This hurricane of f*cking lies

I lost my faith to this
This town that don't exist

So I run
I run away
To the light of masochist

And I leave behind
This hurricane of f*cking lies

And I walked this line
A million and one f*cking times

But not this time

-- Excerpt from "Jesus of Suburbia", Green Day


When I was drinking the most, I listened to this part of the song repeatedly. He's referring to leaving a broken home. But feeling so overcome by alcohol, I interpreted those words with a different meaning for myself: leaving a broken life.

As a result of living under the power of alcohol, I felt like I was alive, but not really living.

I felt like my entire life while drinking was a "hurricane of f*cking lies". I knew it, and I wanted to leave it.

I felt like "I lost my faith" to something that didn't exist.

I felt like "I walked this line a million and one f*cking times". I couldn't wait for the day when it would be time to walk the line again, but I would finally have the strength to say "But not this time" ... and walk away from the drink once and for all ...