"Funny Product Warnings"

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.


"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.


"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.


"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.


"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.


"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.


"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.


"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.


"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.


"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.


"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.


"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.


"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.


"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.

"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.


"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.


"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.


"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.


"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."


"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.


"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.


"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.


"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.


"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.


"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.


"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.


"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.


"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.


"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.


"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.


"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.


"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.


"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.


"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.


"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.


"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.


"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.


"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.


"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.


"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.


"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.


"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.


"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.


"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.


"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.


"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.


"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.


"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.


"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.


"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.


"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.


"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.


"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.


"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.


"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.


"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.


"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.


"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.


"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.


"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.


"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.


"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.


"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.


"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.


"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.


"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.


"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.


"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."


"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.


"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.


"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.


"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.


"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.


"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.


"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.


"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.


"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.


"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.


"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.


"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.


From: http://rinkworks.com/said/