Sober since April 6, 2006

That's
days

Thursday, April 19, 2007

restless, irritable, and discontent

Feeling restless, irritable, and discontent tonight.

Went to a discussion meeting. It was in one of those formats where each person in the circle is asked to share. I hate that format.

Because then I know when it's going to be my turn, so I spend the entire meeting ignoring what everyone else is sharing while I come up with something to share. Then when it's my turn, my mind goes blank and I stutter meaningless drivel like an idiot.

Tonight was no exception. I don't remember what I shared, but whatever it was, it was stupid and I wish I had "passed". I should have known better.

So now I feel even worse than I did before the meeting. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be alone.

9 comments:

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

oh well. progress not perfection and all that.
Have you heard the one "you can't save your arse and your face at the same time"
If I feel funny, I switch my focus to the newcomer. meaning my motive for sharing is for their benefit.
Generally any kind of self obsession is very uncomfortable. and what other people think of me is none of my business anyway. whatever.
whatever you happpen to be suffering from, 'this too will pass'
hope you feel better soon..

Sober Chick said...

OMG I totally hear you. So funny how our minds can cause us such internal drama. When this happens o me (you are not alone) I get physically hot, my palms sweet and I can feel my heart beat fast.

Bottom line, as long as you speak from the heart it is all GOOD.

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

My mind goes haywire too sometime.

Have a good weekend.

dAAve said...

Well, at least you are at the meeting.
If I may offer a suggestion ...

Try Step 3 -- turn it over and don't worry about the outcome. It's not your place to try to manipulate what people think about you or what you share in a meeting. Listen to the shares and when it's your turn, allow your HP to speak through you. Have Faith.

Mark said...

What dAAve said;

Before each and every meeting I put this in my God's hands. I ask Him "if I'm given the opportunity to share, please use me as an instrument of your peace. Put the words in my mouth that YOU need there, so I can help someone else, or myself. Amen."

Usually works - unless I'm in a particularly self-centered mode :) then I try to keep shut up because I'd just be spreading the disease...

Rule 62...

recoveryroad said...

What noor and dAAve said.

I hope the restless, irritable, and discontent feelings have passed.

xxx

Redhead Gal said...

just stopping by and saying hi. Some good advice in your comments. I like Mark's prayer in particular.

recoveryroad said...

Just stopping by to say Hi and I hope you're well. :-)

tkdjunkie said...

Thanks everybody -- sorry for the "long time no write" ...