another day, another chip

I got a color upgrade on my AA chip today. Went from yellow to green. I've been continuously sober for nine months.

I felt kind of stupid today when people congratulated me. Let me (try to) explain:

Imagine what it would be like if you had a next door neighbor who compulsively beat his head into his concrete driveway every day, all day, for years. Even after tearful friends and family members begged him to stop, and doctors warned him of the dangers of his behavior, he continued. Then one day he had a spiritual experience and suddenly stopped beating his head into his driveway.

If that was my neighbor, I'd think, "Good grief! The idiot finally stopped!" The thought wouldn't cross my mind to congratulate him. He merely stopped doing something incredibly stupid.

Do you think he deserves to be congratulated after nine months of abstinence from beating his head into his driveway? Is that really so commendable? I don't think so. He simply stopped doing something incredibly stupid ... for nine months. Big deal!

I feel like I've done the same thing with my alcoholism. It's nothing to be congratulated about. I didn't die and I didn't engage in my incredibly stupid compulsive behavior for nine months. And even that wasn't of my own making -- it was by the grace of God and the people in AA.

There's been alot of spiritual and personal growth too, and that is what makes sobriety worthwhile. I'd be in absolute misery without the growth I've experienced in this program and the relationship I'm developing with God and other people.

Still, it feels weird to be congratulated for something I had nothing to do with.

So congratulate God and yourselves. Thanks for helping me to stay sober for another chip.