Sober since April 6, 2006


Tuesday, January 02, 2007


Went to a step study tonight ... and I'm feeling better. I see many places where I went wrong.

I really set myself up for a dry bender yesterday:

  • I didn't pray.
  • I didn't call my sponsor the day before. (She called me and left a voicemail ... which I didn't care to return).
  • I allowed my emotions to be governed by my circumstances and the actions of other people.
  • I wanted to do things my way.
  • I allowed negative feelings to build -- instead of talking to someone or praying about it.
  • I also didn't take care of myself physically. I slept four hours the night before and forgot to eat all day. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired ...

So yeah, that's basically "asking for it". Endured the emotional hangover today. Cleaned up some wreckage (or tried to anyway). Feeling better.

Today, I'm especially grateful for ...
  • being 271 days dry (semi-sober)
  • the step study meeting tonight
  • the cool guy who showed up at the END of the step study meeting tonight ;)
  • some friends who listened, emailed, and shared their thoughts
  • my dog is still alive. He escaped from the back yard today and nearly wandered to a busy road to get run over.
  • my family still likes me
  • the gears are sticking in my car ... but it still works! Woohoo!
  • I still have a job to wake up for in the morning ... early in the morning ... in six hours ... damn I'm tired!
  • God, because He doesn't leave me alone (even when I think I want Him to)


dAAve said...

Some good insights.
I find it crucial to ALWAYS return phone calls promptly, especially from a sponsor or sponsee. The longer I put it off, the more difficult it becomes. So I've just learned to do it ASAP.
And always be on the lookout for H.A.L.T.

Victoria said...

Correction: "My family still LOVES me." :-)

We love you to the ends of the earth and back, Sweetie....... Mom

Shadow said...

oooh, emotional hangover. yep, makes way much sense. it's amazing how easy i can slip back into those not-good-for-me patterns. need to look out for them constantly. i'm glad you caught on quickly and fixed it! big woophee to you!

SCoUt said...

272!!! Does that mean 9 months is here? Can I count? Am I off?
Happy 272 and you rock. Awesome insights, as always.

SoberSteve said...

In a short 36 days I have learned much from reading all these blogs, Thanks For being there. I set myself up to fail yesterday also. counted how many bars between my house and the aa meeting. Luckly there was not one to many

Stop by new blog site. let me know what you think

Trudging said...

I am waiting for a couple of returned phone calls myself right now. But, I have also done the same thing.

simsample said...

TKD, Happy New Year- you're doing great, and STILL making me think! If more people would take a step back and examine their lives like you do, it would be a better world.

Sober Chick said...

Sometimes we take a few steps back to leap forward. You seek the solution and apply it. You are growing as you should be. :)