Sober since April 6, 2006


Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Still holding on ...

In the news today, a drunken Australian man fell 30 meters into a ravine while relieving himself. He held onto the beer all the way down, and was still nursing it when he was rescued. [Full Article]

I just need to hold on to my sobriety as tight as that dude held onto his beer.

Feeling like a complete social clutz today. Been to two meetings. I don't want to talk to anyone and I don't want to "share" in the discussion. I want to isolate. I REALLY want to isolate. I was asked to speak in a meeting tonight, but I shied away like an idiot.

I don't understand why they expect newcomers to have anything remotely intelligent to say in a discussion meeting. We have no friggin clue how to stay sober and they know it. Every newcomer either talks from their "fuzzy pink cloud" (rose-colored glasses) point of view, or their "my life sucks and none of you will EVER understand" point of view. If you've heard one, you've heard them all. No wonder "old school" AA meetings don't allow newcomers to speak until they've been sober for a year. We're damn annoying.

I'd rather stay quiet and avoid embarrassing myself with stupid insights that everyone else has heard a billion times. But if I don't share when asked to, that embarrasses me too. I dunno what to do ... it's aggrivating.

I think I'm just in a bad mood. Time to STFU.

Tonight I'm grateful for ...

  • being sober
  • being loved

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