Sober ... and Alive

I found out earlier today that a guy in the local AA community committed suicide Wednesday. I didn't recognize him from just hearing his name (we have several thousand members in our community here), but I recognized his face in the newspaper obituary.

He went to an AA meeting Tuesday night, then killed himself the next day.

It makes me wonder, looking around at AA meetings -- who is under the same distress? How can I know if the person sitting next to me needs help but won't ask for it?

Many people ask "the group" for advice or encouragement. But most of the time, I'm speechless and have NO IDEA what to say or how to help. I care about how they feel, but I don't know how to help. It's aggrivating being stuck as a "newcomer" and knowing that I'll continue to be useless for a long time.

I wonder if he asked for help and hit the same barrier with other people like me -- people who wanted to help, but didn't know how?

I feel sorry for this guy -- especially for his loved ones that he left behind. I well know the feeling of wanting to die. But it's so selfish. It may bring "relief" from coping with life, but it inflicts the worst pain possible on loved ones. That's the only reason I'm alive today.



Today, I'm thankful for ...

• being 71 days sober
• no longer wanting to die

PS:
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please have a read of this: [Click Here]


PPS:
Has anyone ever noticed that when you Google search "suicide help", you get advertisements: "We'll pay you $75 right now to complete a simple survey! (PaidSurveysOnline.com)" How crude! It's no wonder that nobody takes suicide seriously.