Sober since April 6, 2006


Saturday, June 17, 2006

Is it really all about alcohol?

Sometimes there seems to be a change in "battle". There are a few times when I really want to drink, so I battle against the obsession with alcohol. But most of the time, I'm battling against my emotions.

My emotions can only be as healthy as my spiritual condition. When I let my guard down spiritually, my emotions bounce around wildly like hyperactive kids on caffeine pills.

In the ladies meeting this morning, someone quoted a part from this section in the Big Book (page 85):

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee, Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.

This section really seems to unite the first three steps for me:
  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.

I find it curious that the only way to experience this "daily reprieve" is by improving our spiritual health. "Fixing" the alcoholic in me has nothing to do with the alcoholic in me -- it's all about my relationship with God.

Just an interesting thought ...

Today, I'm grateful for ...

  • being 72 days sober (every day from here on out is a new record!)
  • the AA ladies meeting
  • my very sweet boyfriend
  • my great family
  • my precious puppy
  • God, who I want to know more


Anonymous said...

The highest religious experience and the worlds most depraving poison both share the same name "Spirit".I have learned that while drinking I was was unknowingly searching for communion with God, on a much much lower level of course.:-)

dAAve said...

Before you realize it, that obsession will be gone, as long as you continue to nurture that daily repreive.