Sober since April 6, 2006


Friday, June 09, 2006

Sleepy and jobless

It's been a long, happy, and fun day. I'm so tired right now!

Been having lots of anxiety dreams lately (dreaming about running away from someone or something while navigating complex buildings that I get lost in). I think it's because I'm worrying about finding another job.

The whole process is so overwhelming somehow. The simple question "What kind of job do I want?" is too difficult to answer. I don't feel qualified to do anything. Then that becomes my excuse for not reworking my résumé -- I don't know what jobs to gear the résumé toward because nobody wants to hire an unemployed loser who graduated from college 1.5 years ago and has no relevant work experience.

It was a bad idea to be drinking when I should have been WORKING. *hits self over the head

So what kind of worker am I? Whether working crappy retail jobs or just playing around with various hobbies, I ...

  • show up on time consistently
  • work well alone or in groups
  • can get along with anyone
  • work obsessively until everything is perfect
  • find useful information quickly
  • think on theoretical, conceptual, and strategic levels
  • maximize efficiency and constantly find ways to improve processes
  • can do anything. If I don't know how to do it, I'll find out.
In other words, I have just as much to offer as anyone else -- I just lack experience. Of course, nobody cares about what you can offer them when your entire employment history revolves around operating cash registers and selling electronics. Damn.

Meh, maybe I'm just looking for more excuses to put off this damned job hunt a bit longer ...

Anyway, today I'm grateful ...
  • for being 64 days sober
  • for being financially pinched, but not desperate
  • that my car started and works well
  • for the program of AA, and for AA friends online and off
  • for the awesome people who read my blog
  • that I got to spend time with my sweet boyfriend today
  • for my loving family and adorable puppy
  • that God has a sense of humor :)


new_eyes said...

Job hunting is worse than working, and that's bad.

this time I just went for an assembly line at a newspaper. Had to really make a pest of myself, and no experience. It's very stress free and not bad if your mind wanders easily to pleasent things.

But I didn't even get started trying to find a job until i was four months. If you can afford it, maybe best to just wait for the inspiration. It will come. good luck :-D

Anonymous said...

I have met people in law enforcement who were into martial arts when they were young.Some still practice it.Have you ever thought about that? Law enforcement?.You could chase down drunk drivers and hit them over the head with the Big Book.Put this on your Ill keep it in mind list :-)

tkdjunkie said...

Thanks for the encouragement and advice, guys! :)