Sober since April 6, 2006

That's
days

Monday, May 15, 2006

A Review

Moving this blog was a total pain. But I'm so glad that I did it!

You see, I had to copy and paste each blog entry and comment from the old blog over to this one -- reformatting the entries to fit the Blogger template and manually adjusting the dates and times on entries and comments to keep an accurate record. During the process, I actually READ my blog entries for the first time in a long time.

I must say, it's a miracle that anyone has ever been a "steady" reader of my blog. I grew so aggravated with the circular thinking. I'd spout some word of wisdom in one entry, then in the next entry, despair over something agonizingly stupid. I was tempted to delete all of those stupid entries, but I didn't.

I want to say a big "THANK YOU" to everyone who has provided a word of wisdom or encouragement -- because you have all been amazingly patient with me.

Over the past five months, I thought I had made spiritual progress. But I see now that I allowed my resentments to hijack my life.

I've assumed the roles of both "victim" AND "villain". I mourned the wrongs inflicted upon me, and I mourned the transgressions I inflicted upon others. But the victim/villain obsession grew so strong that my life manifested the conflicting misery of both.

I guess I need to work on Acceptance. It's easy to say, "I accept this situation". But it's difficult to remain unphased when the emotions boil over again later. That's where I get into trouble ...

3 comments:

Mary Christine said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog today. I hope both you and I feel better really soon :)

Pauly said...

Like the new blog - looking great!

I can empathise with your circular thinking - I have been going through the same stuff myself of late. Acceptance is probably the hardest stage of any kind of 'recovery plan' and I reckon I've got a long way to go myself yet. Every time I think I'm over something, it comes back to bite me in the backside...

Keep your chin up and keep on trying! I have faith that you can do this - you're a hell of a lot stronger than me!

tkdjunkie said...

Aww thanks. I'm not stronger than you, Pauly -- not at all :P If only you knew ... lol

We all occasionally find ourselves overwhelmed in unfortunate situations. I guess we're supposed to grow from them. When it all comes crashing down again, it's a sign that we haven't learned the lesson well enough yet.

It sucks, but hey -- sometimes it just helps to know you're not alone ... ya know?