Sober since April 6, 2006


Tuesday, April 04, 2006

"God doing for us ... "

One of the AA Promises read at every meeting is this:

"We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."

For some reason, when I heard this promise read at the AA meeting last night, it really stuck in my head. It was such a calming thought -- something that helped me to step back for the first time and look at my breakup situation from a broader perspective.

Perhaps God needs me out of that relationship. Knowing that I was unable/unwilling to leave it on my own terms, perhaps God is "doing for me what I couldn't/wouldn't do for myself".

This breakup wasn't my decision. But I don't think it was entirely his decision either.

So apparently, God has better plans, and they involve being with someone else. And knowing that I was emotionally incapable of leaving this ill-fated relationship, He provided the perfect push to get me out.

So in reality, I haven't lost anything. I haven't lost anyone. I've been liberated from a doomed relationship. And for that, I am learning to be happy and grateful.


Chris said...

Hi, I've been following your blog since I came across it looking for stories of people in a similar situation to myself. I'm also a recovering alcoholic, 1 yr and 2 months sober, and really identify with the feelings you're describing.

Thanks for the Acceptance post, it really helped me focus back in on what's important. If its any help, what you describe in terms of the highs and lows of emotions is totally normal and we all go through it, as I'm sure you know.

Something I hear a lot is "you're not alone" - I used to just dismiss it as a cliche, but a cliche only becomes a cliche because its true. In the case of the recovering alcoholic its something we need to hang on to, either face to face or online.

It sounds to me as though you are really on the right road, you're right, there is a higher danger of relapse in the first few months, but keep going the way you're going and you'll definitely make it! I didn't think I'd make a month, never mind a year - we can all surprise ourselves with this thing.

Keep posting - you're not the only one its helping!

In peace

servant said...

It is when we come to the end of ourselves and our resources that we begin God for who he is. When we at the end of ourselves we begin to let God be the loving Father in our lives.

Your situation is difficult and no one can fault you for your feelings expressed. As you put it God is used to this situiiton to "push you in his better plans". I know this is true

You are a Christian, your identity is that of a daughter of the King. You are God's Princess. You are his precious who at times acts/pretends to be something less via behavior. The Bible says you are a Saint. You walk by faith, not by sight and definitely not be feelings. This is tough, but is learned over time.

You are being prayed for.