Sober since April 6, 2006


Wednesday, March 22, 2006


Last night, I posted a blog entry that hurt a few people's feelings -- people who are very important to me and that I love very much. I'm very sorry for posting what I did, and that entry has been removed.

The thing I intended to share is that after 71 days of sobriety, I drank again.

I didn't need to mention anything or anyone else. And I shouldn't have. I wrote the entry while I was still drunk. In general, drunk people say incredibly stupid and cruel things. I'm very sorry for what I wrote.

I can start over on the path of sobriety, but I can't start over with the cruel things I said and how they injured you. For that, I am very sorry.


Spirit said...

Let me ask you a question. Let's your your grandfather died. Where would you have been? Would you have not been in your grandfather when he died?

Who you are is not based upon what you "do" but you who are in. You, me, your family, all people are failures because Adam was a failure. Like Rom 5 says..

12Therefore, just as through (X)one man sin entered into the world, and (Y)death through sin, and (Z)so death spread to all men, because all sinned--
13for until the Law sin was in the world, but (AA)sin is not imputed when there is no law.

14Nevertheless death reigned from Adam until Moses, even over those who had not sinned (AB)in the likeness of the offense of Adam, who is a [a](AC)type of Him who was to come.

15But the free gift is not like the transgression. For if by the transgression of (AD)the one (AE)the many died, much more did the grace of God and the gift by (AF)the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abound to the many.

16The gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned; for on the one hand (AG)the judgment arose from one transgression resulting in condemnation, but on the other hand the free gift arose from many transgressions resulting in justification.

The world say you are what you do. People ask you all the time.. "What do you do?" You are doctor, lawyer, a sales man, etc..because that is what you do.

But if your lawyers office shuts down, you have nothing to sale or there are no patience do you stop existing? No!

People are a murder, a cheater, a drugie, an alcholoic, etc. Because you USE to do these things..You may have done these things but is that who you are?

It is funny that you don't here people say.."You are a cursor" to those who curse all the time. You don't hear people say.. "you are a meat eater" because you eat meat every day.

it is amazing to me how people can label othes based upon their performance, job, etc.

People need to have their eyes, hearts and minds open to see that "Who they are" has nothing to do with what they do. What is your last name. how did you get it. You were born with it right? Did you have to DO anything to get your last name? No!

IF you start acting like your next door neighbor, and dressing like them and talking like them..does that mean you no longer have your father last name but instead take on your neighbors last name? Of course not!

Who are you? You are in Christ and a Christian..when you were born again your identiy was changed from being in adam to in Christ..So yes we are all failures or sinners because of what Adam did.. Just as if your father or grandfather never lived to have kids then you would have died in him (in his seed)

Why should you die? What if you are meant to have a child that will effect millions? What better way to stop that from happening than your enemy trick you into depression? Do not be fooled my friend. Your life has a meaning and a purpose..

Many don't become christians because all they see is "law and legalism". God is not about oh...well...I am good and you are bad. No he wants us to have a life and to fill the void in our lifes. People don't need someone telling them what not to do or what to do they need grace and mercy mixed with the truth and they need LIFE!

when people expect things from you...tell you that you should.. "should, ought, must, etc" do certain things..they do not realize they are putting you under the law. When most think about religion they think about the ten commandments. The problem is no one can keep the law in their own strenght. HEnce Christ CAme and gave us grace and fulfilled the law. His love and Sacriffice fulfills the requirments of the law.

If this guy you dated was like.. uh.. you need to move or else.. that is the law. there is no love in that. Love does not give conditions..true love is unconditional and willing to stick out it's neck for you and support your through thick and thin. Your are better of without that person.

Many people don't realize they hurt people when they tell them or force them into doing things by saying you should, ought to, etc. Law is = standards and expectations.

After all are any of us telepathic. How are you suppose to know what I am thinking or expecting of you unless you tell me. At the same can people many times make up for the past hurt and pain in your life or my life. When we expect to much from people we put them under the law and hurt them.

The only thing we are to be lead to do is trust God and let him lead us. Lord willing you will be shown more of mercy and grace and not allow people to hurt you with false feelings of being a failure and of false guilt and shame. You are approved by God and are right with him not matter what you do! Who you are is determined by your birth..when you become a christian you were taken out of adam and put into christ..

Your job, your family, your boyfriends, etc..are not who you are. If they all stopped living would you stop living. No you would press on toward the goal. The greater one lives in you..never forget that..

Even if you try to go to conseling and never her back or get a job and never hear back.. God knows what is best and he knows what he is are beautiful for he is in you and your pretty on the outside as matter what negative thoughts may pop in your have a bright future ahead of you...never loose sight of that..

Spirit said...

We all have moments of weakness = ) Again what you do is not who you are. You are in Him and loved by him..never forget that..

tkdjunkie said...

Thank you, Spirit :)

I've read what you wrote several times. It might just take a while to sink in. Thanks again!