Sober since April 6, 2006

That's
days

Thursday, October 04, 2007

and suddenly i was surrounded with champagne ...


I was finally able to make it back in to work yesterday & today. The cold I had last weekend turned into a sinus infection, which is disgusting and miserable, but not contagious. It was nice to be back at work.

They had a celebration at work today, and we were all supposed to report to the lobby at a certain time. I left my desk at the last minute and went to the lobby.

Suddenly, I was surrounded by hundreds of glasses of champagne. They filled half a dozen tables. People were passing the glasses around for a toast.

I felt alot of pressure to take a glass like everyone else. To everyone else, the champagne was as harmless as water. I looked into those bubbly glasses and thought about how nice it would be to take one. Surely one little glass wouldn't hurt.

But I didn't take a glass. My thinking made me nervous, so I slipped out the door and went back to my desk without anyone seeing me leave.

I felt ashamed that I was unable to stay. But the whole situation caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting to be surrounded by hundreds of glasses of alcohol, especially at a work function. Maybe if I had known about it beforehand, I would have done better.

Anyway, I'm grateful to be sober today, and to be alive. An acquaintance of mine (who was a very close friend of my boyfriend's brother) was shot and killed today. A disgruntled employee came into the workplace and shot several employees. Two lives were ended, countless lives were changed forever. Just like that.

It helps to put things into perspective ... all of my loved ones are alive and well today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.



Today, I am grateful ...

  • to be 546 days sober
  • that all of my loved ones are alive and well
  • that the police caught the murderer
  • that I was able to work yesterday and today
  • that I have a job, and people look to me for help
  • for video games ... an old favorite of mine kept me well-entertained during my sick days away from work
  • for the medicine the doctor prescribed for my sinus infection ... it seems to be working
  • that I was able to pay off my car (no more car payment!)
  • that God's plans are better than mine

7 comments:

Dharmashanti said...

I would have done exactly the same thing.

One of the boundaries I have set for myself is to never attend work-related functions (such as awards dinners, etc.) where alcohol is served. They dynamics are just too confusing for me. I'm better off not going.

To have gone back to your desk, to have honored the precious being that is you, really illustrates how much your recovery program has become a part of your every day life. What a blessing!

You are a light to others still living in darkness!

Peace out!
Dharma

Anonymous said...

As you become more spiritually fit those type of situations wont bother you so much.A person who has recovered from alcoholism can go anyplace alcohol is served,providing he /she has a good reason for being there.I think its strange that in one work place champagne is being served while at another people are being shot.Death is a part of life.See YA RDW

LAS said...

I am right there with you through this whole experience - I had an experience a week ago that caught me off guard and scared the carp out of me. I thought I was in a good spot...and now I am both surprised and grateful to still be sober.

simsample said...

Well done TKD- you are such a strong person!

dAAve said...

Be very proud of yourself. You did good.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for sharing this experience. And thanks to the other people who commented! My son (25) is less than a year into his recovery, is getting ready to get a job, and has confided to me (his dad) that he is afraid to make friends at a new workplace because they will want to go out and drink, and how will he handle it? I felt like crying that he could feel so vulnerable to something so seemingly innocent and commonplace. I know these situations can be handled successfully, and you are one more beautiful example of it.

tkdjunkie said...

Thanks everybody -- you are all so sweet to share your thoughts too. It means alot.