Sober since April 6, 2006


Thursday, November 30, 2006

we agnostics

My sponsor told me to read the chapter "We Agnostics" out of the Big Book. As usual, I'm glad I did what she told me. (RTFM: Read this chapter in .pdf HERE, or view other Big Book chapters HERE.)

Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness (p. 48).

"Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became open minded ... "

This reminds me of an episode of The Simpsons where Homer was about to get killed by a rhinoceros. He screams, "I'm gonna die! Jesus, Allah, Buddha -- I love you all!"

When faced with impending death, the fancy details of religion and spirituality suddenly don't matter.

At this point in my sobriety, those fancy details still don't matter. Is there life after death? Is there a hell? Is there a heaven? Do we get reincarnated? Are angels real? I don't care. None of that has anything to do with keeping me sober today. I have a problem that experience has repeatedly demonstrated to be unrepairable by human power, and the only thing that can help me is a Power greater than myself. That's the only theology that matters to me right now.

Alcohol beat me into a state of reasonableness. I had no choice but to try something new, because my ideas didn't work.

Is not our age characterized by the ease with which we discard old ideas for new, by the complete readiness with which we throw away the theory or gadget which does not work for something new which does?

... When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did (p. 52).

The God idea works for my AA buddies, and it works for me too -- when I'm willing to let it.

Today, I'm especially grateful for ...
  • being 238 days sober
  • getting to hear my sponsor's sponsor at a speaker meeting tonight -- and finding out that my sponsor's sponsor knows her sponsor's sponsor. That's pretty cool.
  • AA buddies online and off
  • having my family
  • my adorable dog -- who seems to be learning not to jump on me when I come home from work wearing a nice suit
  • my car -- it works! It really works!
  • my mp3 player, because it drowns out the Christmas "elevator music" they're playing at work
  • I have a job. OMG! I have a job!
  • knowing that I could lose everything tonight if I choose to take a drink
  • God, because He's so much more patient than I am


Deb said...

LOL! Thanks for the Homer laugh!

Meg Moran said...

My headphones save my sanity at

The Chapter to the Agnostic is amazing, cleared up so much for me.

238 days is amazing too........

Sober Chick said...

Haha that Homer, crazy dude.

So many doors open as we realize our way is no longer functionable. I know what you speak of, darn that self-will!

new_eyes said...

hehe. I still marvel at myself for having a job too.

SCoUt said...

I think We Agnositcs is the most spiritual chapter in the whole book. It's one of my faves for sure.
You are coming to a beautiful and awesome understanding of the program, girl. Seems like you also chose a wonderful sponsor for yourself.
Your growth is very evident and awesome to watch.
And, like I have said before, you have a real gift with words.
P.S. Aren't you gonna go on Top 100 blogs? Your blog would share a lot of E, S, and H with people, girl!