Sober since April 6, 2006

That's
days

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

exhausted

I almost fell asleep several times at the meeting tonight, so I'll make this entry short.

Another thing that really hit me yesterday is the meditation for October 30, from "Twenty Four Hours A Day":

"There is a time for everything. We should learn to wait patiently until the right time comes. Easy does it. We waste our energies in trying to get things before we are ready to have them, before we have earned the right to receive them. A great lesson we have to learn is how to wait with patience. We can believe that all our life is a preparation for something better to come when we have earned the right to it. We can believe that God has a plan for our lives and that this plan will work out in the fullness of time."

I want things I don't have, can't have, and shouldn't have. Don't we all? Whenever I acquire something I'm not supposed to have, I always lose it because I'm not yet able to handle it.

So instead of wishing things were different, I need to embrace my situations as they are. If I don't have something, it's because 1) I'm not ready for it yet, or 2) I haven't done the footwork to earn it.

I need to focus on today and stay in the moment. I must learn how to embrace each moment, even when they defy my desires.


Today, I'm especially thankful for ...
  • being 208 days sober
  • AA buddies online and off
  • my loving family
  • my very patient boss
  • meeting with my sponsor at the meeting tonight
  • giving out candy to the trick-or-treaters
  • my fully functioning car. It's a miracle that everything still works!
  • God, who occasionally allows me to have things I shouldn't have, so that the end result will teach me to stop wanting things I shouldn't have

4 comments:

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Cool! Yep I completely agree with you there tk, The only instant thing in AA is the coffee! Rome wasn't built in a day and all that..I started off very 'earnest' and now I'm much more relaxed about my pursuit of recovery. I work pretty hard, but in a 'wearing life like a loose garment' kind of way. Trying too hard actually creates tension and anxiety and therefore INCREASES the distance between you and wellbeing. The balancing act you perfect is to go to any lengths to move forwards, whilst at the same time totally accepting your current position. It's a very un neurotic plan of growth. You can't FORCE wellbeing into existence.

Trudging said...

Nice list! I know what you mean about your car. I have been blessed with several of those types of cars in sobriety.

SCoUt said...

There's a line in the N.A. Basic Text that says something akin to (Sorry, I can't quote it directly): G-d doesn't put things in front of us until we have the spiritual maturity to handle them. Just another way to look at what "G-d gives or brings" to you, tk.
This is also why I don't pray for outcomes and only to do G-d's will.
Peace and happy 209 today,
Scout

Sober Chick said...

Isn't it funny how we like to fight time. It can get quite exhaustng. You have something going here, keep on being open to the discoveries.

Happy November.