Sober since April 6, 2006

That's
days

Sunday, September 24, 2006

9.24.06

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Note
(added 9-25-06, 9:14pm EST)


This entry was NOT intended to offend anyone. I'm very sorry to anyone who has taken offense.

The statements made in the following entry were not referencing any specific individuals in my life. They reference a
compilation of insecurities accumulated during several relationships over the past ten years.

The purpose of this entry was to inventory various positive affirmations that have taken me a long time to learn and start believing for myself. This entry was intended to share my ideas and hope with everyone else out there with similar struggles.

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Today, I'm grateful for ...

  • being 171 days sober
  • having a family that I love
  • having a supportive AA family that I love
  • realizing that just because someone I love treated me badly:
    • it doesn't mean that I deserved it;
    • it doesn't mean that I'm stupid;
    • it doesn't mean that I'm worthless; and
    • it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with me.
  • realizing that just because someone doesn't love me anymore:
    • it doesn't mean that I'm unlovable;
    • I don't need to change myself to try to make them love me again;
    • I'm not inferior to them; and
    • I haven't lost anything by losing their love - I can't lose what isn't mine.
  • realizing that just because I love someone:
    • I don't need to be loved in return;
    • I don't have to put up with abuse;
    • I don't have to learn to hate them in order to let them go; and
    • I don't have to continue loving them long after they left.
  • realizing that I am worthy of living my own life and sharing it with others, even if someone I love decides that I'm not worthy of sharing in their life

4 comments:

NMAMFQLMSH said...

Absolutely wonderful grateful list. YOU ARE WONDERFUL!
I see you,
JJ

tkdjunkie said...

Thanks, JJ. You're wonderful too!

But I'll never understand how this gratitude list was interpreted as a breakup notice by my boyfriend -- especially since he said he was trying to help me become more self-confident. I thought he was going to be encouraged by the progress detailed in the list. But I apparently screwed up yet again.

This is upsetting ...

Designer Girl said...

This is an amazing list. I need to print it out and look at it throughout the day. Thanks SOOO much for sharing it.

I haven't been a regular reader of your blog (although I'm going to go back and catch up), so I don't want to comment on the relationship issue, other than to say hang in there. If he's meant to be with you, he'll get it. ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

Dang I've been having a hard time with this stuff for a long time. I got to learn that I AM good enough and strong enough........you know? So this helps alot. Thanks for the thread!!!