Sober since April 6, 2006


Friday, August 11, 2006

"God, as we understood Him"

Today's meeting was great. It was about a section on page 12 of the Big Book, where Bill tells about his reaction to discovering his newly-sober friend's newfound faith:

Despite the living example of my friend there remained in me the vestiges of my old prejudice. The word God still aroused a certain antipathy. When the thought was expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified. I didn't like the idea. I could go for such conceptions as Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind or Spirit of Nature but I resisted the thought of a Czar of the Heavens, however loving His sway might be. I have since talked with scores of men who felt the same way.

My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

I'm glad that AA doesn't require a belief in any particular faith. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Wow.

I'm still discovering my concept of God. It will change as I grow. But it seems to me that it's important to keep the "Three Pertinent Ideas" in mind while developing this concept of God. From page 60 of the Big Book:

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

That "feels like" steps 1 and 2 in a nutshell. But these three ideas serve as a reminder to me that God plays a major role in my recovery. Going to meetings and talking to other alcoholics play a big role in recovery - but the most important element is spiritual growth. "Probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism." Page 43 of the Big Book reminds us:

"The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."

... A Higher Power, as we define it for ourselves.

What a novel idea. And if it were not for the spiritual flexibility in the program of AA, just think of the millions of people who would have been turned away.

Today, I'm grateful for ...

  • being 127 days sober
  • the awesome people who read my blog
  • my loving family
  • my sweet boyfriend
  • my car still working
  • the program of AA
  • God, who lets me discover something new about Him


Gwen said...

Great post. Congrats on 127. Keep on keepin on!


Khakra said...

to me junkie, it seems like you have discovered and created your Higher Power. Refer to the grateful list! That's a start to work with, and there's always more to come!

lash505 said...

Very nice, keep it simple.

Anonymous said...

Your pretty sharp.Who are you and what did you do with TKD Junkie?.......Heard it said once that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking,but that the requirement for recovery was something else.See ya Gods Kid. RW

tkdjunkie said...

Thanks, all. Writing about this stuff is hard sometimes. Thanks for reading!

RW - tkdjunkie is "under construction". Occasionally a sembalance of sanity appears for a few seconds at a time -- right before it gets accidentally bulldozed down and replaced with rubbish. :)