Sober since April 6, 2006


Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Sleepy ... zzz ...

Man I'm sleepy. Been staying up really late and getting up early. I've been having so much fun putting a website together. It's slow-going ... I'm not very good at it yet, and I want it to be perfect.

Over the past few days, I've been blessed with a feeling of excitement and ambition -- feelings I haven't felt in a long time.

But at night, negative thoughts fill my mind with worry, guilt, and doubt. It only happens when I try to fall asleep. It's been going on for years. Because of the anxiety, it takes me over an hour every night just to fall asleep -- even when I'm genuinely exhausted. Besides it's aggrivating to be hopeful one minute, then hopeless the next.

I think that working through steps 4-11 will help -- when I eventually "reach" them.

Today, I'm thankful for ...

  • being 103 days sober
  • AA friends, online and off
  • my great little reliable car, which is all PAID for now :D
  • my adorable puppy, whose sweetness melted hearts today at the groomer
  • my family, who helps me to stay on top of things
  • my boyfriend, whose love and friendship is truely priceless
  • making cool stuff at CafePress
  • medicine ... oh the allergies ...
  • grapes. I've been eating them by the bowl-full for about a week now ...
  • God, the answer to every problem


lash505 said...

If you have problems sleeping read the big book. That what this old timer Race Track Tom told me. You body is trying to build itself back from you fucking it up. Take it easy and listen to your body.

dAAve said...

Good advice above. The Big Book will put you to sleep.
The last thing I do at night before closing my eyes is pray, out loud. I often fall asleep WHILE praying. This is a most wonderful way to go to sleep. I then pray again upon wakening.
Keep up the gratitude list. Excellent!

Khakra said...

where did the coffee go from your thankful list? Starbucks outta business? Say latte

tkdjunkie said...

Thanks guys!

Okay, I need the Big Book to put me to sleep, and Starbucks to keep me awake.

This suggests that Starbucks is the antithesis of the Big Book ... ooooh, sounds evil! Which one is the "dark side" of the force?

Khakra said...

I've always wanted to be Yoda. Here's my chance.

Feel the Force. If it says Soya Bean Latte Extra Venti, it will balance the Force.

Actually, rethinking it, forget the Force? Don't Force yourself to sleep, get a latte. Standing in that Starbucks line will put you to sleep anyways, balancing the Force.