Sober since April 6, 2006


Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Running on Empty

The fresh air, crowned with a beautiful sapphire sky, beckoned my presence at the park today. I had not been running for a long time.

I did a run/walk on the park's .5-mile track, then on the .75-mile trail. Boy, I am exhausted! I feel like I got hit by a bus! To top it off, the whole run was a bit frustrating.

Years ago, I ran every day. I even ran a 10K (6.2 miles) as part of a black belt exam, and a 5K (3.1 miles) for fun with an old boyfriend for his church. Now I struggle with 1.25 miles as if it were a full marathon.

So the meager run today was frustrating. All I could think about was "how easy this used to be". But now that I'm home and refreshed, I see where I went wrong!

When I ran years ago, I would pray while I ran. When my legs hurt, I would thank God that my legs could carry me for a run, because there are people in this world who can't stand up, let alone run. When I could hardly breathe, I would thank God that I could breathe without the aid of machines, because there are people in this world who can't breathe without machines. I never felt frustrated during those runs, but instead grateful.

And this is where I went wrong today: I forgot to be grateful! I was so preoccupied with "poor me" that I didn't acknowledge the gifts that God had already given. If I had focused on God's gifts rather than on my shortcomings, the run would have been so much more enjoyable.

My lesson today: God's gifts are everywhere and come in all forms. I need to learn to thank God for those gifts ... even when I don't "feel" them yet.

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