Sober since April 6, 2006

That's
days

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Losing Temper

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.

Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence....

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are a very rare jewel indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.



From http://www.recoverylane.com




If I had been doing this over the past couple of years, there would be no fence left. It would disintegrate from all the holes.

Anybody need an old fence taken down? I'm hirable!

4 comments:

RDW said...

We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look for it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.

This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."

We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one......... From the Big Book 4th step.That was pointed out to me when I first came to AA.Sounds easy enough.Can be hard to apply when we are really pissed.It reads "...............we said to ourselfs," I said it to them once.Only once.Man what a storm that caused!!!!! Hope you are doing Ok tkd junkie.My son took TKD for a little while.I wish he would have stayed in it.Have a good day.

AS said...

yeah my neighbor's fence looks terrible. i can't afford the nails, you're hired if you can buy some with your own money! :)

tone said...

man... the way i am - i'd just beaten the fence to toothpics with that hammer on the 1st day..... forget the nails...

took time to "donate" my time today to my r/c club - by helping them destroy our old track - level it - to start over fresh and new. i think my tool destruction count was .. one hoe (that wench ... heh... get it... hahahahha) , one tractor ( i bet it wont even move next week) , one soil packer (blue smoke is great), and one garden rake..... its ooooo nice to take anger out on inanimate ground. i've not channeled my anger into something semi-productive in a LONG time.... for all of those 6-8 hours i was there - life was great. i got a call - to go to the store on the way home... pass the poison store, and, feeling all crapworthy - i picked up a case of Silver Bullet... and proceeded to down ... ooh... 10 or so...
now that i am psuedo-sober.... i realize.... that... i am weak... i've screwed up my schedule (one day of drinking socially every three months) ... and the kicker is - this wasnt even socially.... not only that - i feel... totally guilty, even more pissdd, even more depressed, and i wonder what in satan's hell is wrong with me!
Kiddo - its hard... i thought i had a plan. thought i knew... thought i'd been in control.... but all it takes is a string of bad days and a moments weakness..... makes me look back on my AA meetings - and i sometimes wish i never left....
All i can do now is put my tail between my legs and scuttle away - sulking.... i want to be strong... i want to keep my head up.... its hard....
But - if there is one thing i KNOW... I CAN NEVER GIVE UP....
Just take this as it is... a personal story...
Try your damnedest not to give in... stay strong - and never give up.... tomorrow is a new day, and a new time to improve.....
Love, always,
Tone

tkdjunkie said...

Thanks for the reminder, RDW :)

AS, I'd take you up on your offer, but I'm a bit strapped for cash too, lol :P

Tone -- don't be too hard on yourself. There's nothing "wrong" with you. It's the life dream of every alcoholic to be able to drink like a normal person can. It's normal to try!

You don't have to be ashamed. Nobody at AA would ever look down on you because of that. People do it all the time. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking" just for today. Get some phone numbers of other guys in AA -- and call them when you feel like drinking.

You can hold your head up high by learning from the mistake and sharing what you've learned with others so that they have the opportunity to learn too. And thanks for sharing here :)

Take a minute to review the Promises of Sobriety, and then read the parody -- Promises of Addiction. That helps me every day, lol ... I hope it can help you too.

Keep your head up and take care of yourself!