Lonely ...

Feeling so lonely today. It's difficult to adjust when you spent every hour of every day for over a year chatting with someone who has now blocked you from chat, and whose formerly warm emails are now stiffened with the cold formality normally reserved for strangers. It's difficult to accept the new "distance" when you're accustomed to finishing each other's sentences and being the best of buddies. But that's just how things go.

Maybe I'm just being too sensitive. That kind of stuff happens to everyone.

But I still miss him. I miss being friends, playing games, joking around, and having fun.

It's odd how things turn out. I keep telling myself, "It's for the best" and "He's happier this way." That helps -- it really does.

But sometimes I start wondering if he misses me too, or if he even thinks about me. It shouldn't matter. It's a silly thing to care about anyway. But for some reason, it matters sometimes.

It's just another thing to find peace with. At least it isn't anything major -- like dealing with death/illness of a loved one. But sometimes, it really feels like a death ... a death that I caused.

Why do emotions have to be so incredibly complicated?