Sober since April 6, 2006


Thursday, April 20, 2006

General AA Concerns ...

I was attending a meeting the other night, and everyone was sharing their experience with Step 6: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." (Steps 4 and 5 exist to help you discover your character defects ... Step 6 is where you decide to ask God to remove them.)

I couldn't understand some of the people there. They had been sober and in AA for over a year -- but were "afraid" of and "dreading" Step 6. They had already completed Steps 4 & 5, and they had discovered their character defects, but they didn't want to give them up yet. I simply don't understand their rationale. I've found a few of my character defects, but I CAN'T WAIT to get rid of them. It's like having spiders crawling all over me -- I'm in an absolute panic to get them off.

But they say that someone with my length of sobriety is not ready to do Step 4 (or anything past it). That really aggrivates me. It's like telling a desperate person who is COVERED in spiders that they can't brush the spiders off because they weren't supposed to have noticed them yet for a few more months.

(Insert Anakin Skywalker temper tantrum from "Revenge of the Sith"... Well here's something similar, dubbed in 1337, hahaha! )

Then there's the whole thing with sponsors (a sponsor is like a mentor). They say you need one, and I admit -- I DO need a sponsor to help get through the steps. At every meeting, they ask for a show of hands from people who are willing to be "Temporary Sponsors". But hardly anyone volunteers. And the people who DO volunteer either leave immediately after the meeting or seem so busy that I don't want to bother them. They have kids, and jobs, and husbands ... I don't want to interrupt their busy lives with my silly problems.

Bleh -- at least the Star Wars clip was teh roXXorz ... compensates for the lame entry, lol ...

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