Sober since April 6, 2006

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Stupid Emotional Regurgitation

Bleh ... this is so aggrivatingly stupid! But I felt the need to write something therapeutic, notwithstanding my wayward propensity towards absolute daftness (or insanity at this point) ...


In a clumsy stutter of momentary belief
The worries of the world temporarily fade away
Encouraging my heart to be brave once more
Flying as an eagle, feeling the power of the world beneath me
Until I find myself in the deep muddy pit yet again
Having crashed down into a pathetic heap
Aching body screaming; broken heart erupting
In the silence of a world filled with the deafening roar of humanity’s agony

The silence echoes into a blasting rush of nothingness
And time seems to stop, halting a tear in mid-fall
Its sparkle glistening softly in the dim light
But the rest of the world moves on
As time grips my life firmly
There is no procession; there is no change
There is only a single tear suspended in mid-fall as the rest of the world proceeds
A stubborn tribute to broken dreams and to the equally broken and regretful heart that bore them

Looking upwards toward the sky
A faint speck of blue is hardly visible from the depths of this cold dark lair
The sun streams in as a blinding and painful reminder
And all hopes of escape are quickly dashed with the realization
That this cold darkness will forever be my home
The depravity of humanity succumbing to its power
A black hole of emotion that binds, blinds, and breaks all inklings of hope

An icy hand snags my shoulder and draws my eyes from the light
The chill from the darkness scarcely illuminated by the moist fog of my breath
And I once again find myself unable to move
Afraid to think, afraid to hope
For if every fall lands here
There will never be any true escape
The tear will forever dangle there, promising a glint of hope in its sparkle
Until it, too, freezes and dims in the muddy shadows with me
Forever companions in this dark, cold world

1 comment:

SCoUt said...

"And I once again find myself unable to move
Afraid to think, afraid to hope
For if every fall lands here
There will never be any true escape"

Guess what? There IS a true escape and you found it, my sweet girl.
Peace,
Scout