Today, I came across the closing words at the end of the last chapter in the Big Book:
"We realize we only know a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.
"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you -- until then," (p.164).
Wow, this part is like a simple version of the 12 steps: "Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find."
I needed to read those instructions today. I need to be more aggressive in working my program. I haven't been concentrating on that. I've been too busy working, catching up on lost sleep, and finding inventive ways to waste time. I haven't been "trudging the road" -- I've been too comfortable.
"Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs," (p. 20).
"At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order. But this is not an end in itself. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us," (p. 77).
I want to be helpful, but I can't share what I don't have. It's worth asking, "Have I abandoned myself to God today, or have I abandoned God to go my own way?"
I'm very grateful to be sober today, to have such wonderful AA friends, to have a family that loves me, and a God who will never leave.